can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
