i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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