i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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