is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
