Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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