Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night