I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
