it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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