tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize