$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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