Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
