My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
is that a dick in a sweater?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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