I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize