i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
