i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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