the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
