yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
