question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize