What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
