Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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