Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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