ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize