Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
