Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
