I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
