Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
