Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
