You really coming over, don't trick.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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