What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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