As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
