Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
