Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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