Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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