There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
