You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
