Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
