First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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