i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you would pick up someone in the library
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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