I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
