Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
