Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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