I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
