I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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