just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
