Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
