I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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