so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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