Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
