I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize