what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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