i just wanna soil my oats bro
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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