i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
