I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
