apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
