Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
