i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
