If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
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We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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