in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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