They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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