is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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