I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
