How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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